Wednesday, December 21, 2005

If lawyers wrote Christmas cards....

From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee") please accept without
obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally
conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the summer solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of
other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color,
age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or
sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be
made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the
wishor are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any
of the wishes.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the
restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain
jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected
within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year
or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of
this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wishor. Any references in this greeting to "The Lord", "Father
Christmas", "Our Savior", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any
other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive,
shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this
greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names
and images are hereby acknowledged.

This greeting is made under United States Law.

Dated this 20th day of December two thousand and five.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Bad, bad joke!!!!

At dawn El Telefono rings.
"Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house."

"Yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died.

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International Competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. "What did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat, Senor"

Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor."


"Your wife Senor...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."


"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in DEEP, DEEP shit!"

Jen, Brad and Angelina part 28049024509245092345

There's been endless speculation about the situation between Jennifer Aniston and ex-hubby Brad Pitt. Are they friends still? Or is there nothing but animosity between the former golden couple of Tinseltown?

the real question we really care? I mean really? Who would want to talk to Jen if you have angelina? mmmm....angelina (daydream alert)

don't get me wrong...its not a great situation, but when mr and mrs smith are together...move on people...move on....

for those who want to read this crap

Monday, June 27, 2005's one of those!!!!

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